During the worst of it with Riley, I had a split second vision of me in a jail cell, lying on a bare cot. I don't know what I did, but I knew she was dead, at my hands, and the predominant emotion I felt was not remorse, but relief. Relief for her to be out of her misery. Relief that my husband and infant son now had a chance at a happier, healthier, life. I didn't give a damn about what happened to me anymore.
That little flash scared me. My daughter's behavior was insane. I was at my limit. We were in serious trouble, and we needed to figure out what was wrong.
Before we started bio-med therapies, I had no idea the child who had become my nightmare would one day again be my joy, but she is. She is my joy! She has been steadily recovering and she feels better. Because she feels better, who she really is can shine. Who she really is, is the most loving, gentle, sweet, innocent, pure, tender-hearted person you can imagine. Who she really is was not visible when her body was polluted and she felt lousy.
Riley is one of many children recovering to varying degrees, from autism.
Baxter, (the handsome little guy in the photo above) is one who has gone all the way. I don't know his mom, and don't know if she ever went through such a "dark night of the soul," but I suspect, most parents of kids on the spectrum have had their desperate moments.
This is for any parent who is in that place now.
Watch Baxter here.
Take strength in his story.
There is light at the end of the tunnel.