A group of little girls were playing at recess last week when a boy approached and wanted to join them. The girls told him to get lost in no uncertain terms. Apparently, he'd been awful to them earlier, and it was a self-protective move not to include him.
Shortly after, Riley was found leaning against the playground fence, weeping. She didn't understand why her classmates would be so mean. She felt sorry for the boy. She was so heartbroken, she had to be led inside by a school aide. All this about a boy who'd been bugging the crap out of these little girls.
The whole notion of kids on the spectrum not having empathy chaps my ass.
All I'm sayin.'
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15 comments:
As an adult Aspie, it chaps my ass, too. ;) Right now, for example, I feel for Riley.
I've read some really interesting stuff on autism and empathy at Asperger Journeys and A Life Less Ordinary. Smart women, the both of them.
I'm right there with you! Especially when it becomes the reason a school evaluator won't give an educational diagnosis of autism. "Oh, your child is too social to possibly be autistic." My ass.
ok off topic but....thought I'd share this video - in Miami there's surfing lessons for kids on teh spectrum...who knew?!?
http://www.miamiherald.com/508/index.html?media_id=3724225&genre_id=4216
And that's all I'm hearin' you say.
Michelle, I didn't check out Carnal Zen's link but we did an AWESOME surf camp out here. it's called Surfer's Healing and it's run by the Paskowitz family in Southern CA. They run camps all over SoCal and they also do some at Virginia Beach, The Outer Banks (N.Carolina), and Long Island, NY. they are one day camps and free for families of kids with autism. If you want to chat about it, send me a note to my e-mail and I'll tell you all about it. Two thumbs up from us and I bet Riley would be awesome at it.
amen, sister. a-effing-men.
I don't know about surfing for Riley. Maybe if she could just lay on the board, hug it and ride. Her depth perception isn't very good.
I am sending you an email. Please look out for it, ok?
you and me, girl. chapped in the ass.
Kyra,
I should have said, "Thass."
yes! HA! chapped in the thass!!! (makes me feel like i have a lisp!)
although, i've SEEN your ass (ahem, not in its naked state) and it most definitely has luscious separation from thigh.
I think sometimes it's that some kids on the spectrum have such an abundance of empathy, it becomes too much for them...and that's where the melt down occurs.
Definitely one of those stereotypes we must work to eradicate.
An Empathy Story...
We just got back from grocery shopping at Publix. We've been going to this particular store for a few years. They know us; we know them.
So, this cute teenaged young man who often times bags our groceries again assisted us. He is always friendly and all smiles, makes great eye contact and is often joking around with the other employees while he works.
Today he asked the question, with such a serious and sincere look on his face and in his eyes. Slowly. Quietly.
What is wrong with her?
(she had seizures yesterday and is visibly exhausted)
Me: She has autism and seizures from the mercury she got in her vaccines. There was a lot of mercury in vaccines in the early 1990's. Some kids can't rid their bodies of mercury and she is one of them.
He gave an initial look of shock and...just a knowing look.
Head down, slowly, quietly.
Him: Oh. Autism. That's what I have.
Now this totally just blew me away. Never in a million years would I have thought...(thankfully I was wearing sunglasses)
Me: Really? Wow. You are awesome. You are so nice and do such a great job. I never would have known. (smile returned, head back up) Thank you for telling me and for asking about my daughter.
So at this point my daughter and I would have normally got in the car and got our seat belts buckled, etc. But this guy just told me something huge and I just could not walk away away and get in the car. So we stood between the car door and the trunk.
Him: Does she go to High School?
Me: She may go back in the fall. Her teachers have been coming to our house while she goes through treatments to get the mercury out of her body. When she goes back she will be in special education classes. (pause) Thank for for asking about my daughter.
He smiled, head down.
He finished putting the groceries away, and said, not smiling but still making great eye contact, slowly and deliberately, so sincerely: I just really worry about people sometimes.
And I said: You are an awesome young man. Thank you. (pause) I hope you have a really nice weekend.
His smile returned and he walked away. He turned back to look at us and smiled again.
I wanted to hug him. I still do!
Thanks for sharing this beautiful moment Georgia Peach!
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